The precious mom bubble: the definition of sanity for those who even teeter on the edge of introvert.
We all have a bubble. And it seems like our kids just want to be in there with us.
No matter the time of day, our task at hand, or our changeable mood.
When you’re trying to walk down the hall with a full basket of laundry, and your youngest gloms onto your leg so you’re dragging her down the hall with you.
When you’re trying to quickly prepare supper, and suddenly all of your children are between you and the counter.
When you’re just trying to have a quick shower, and you keep getting blasted with the cold air of the door being opened with all the questions.
When you would like to watch just one show or read just one chapter after they are all in bed and you never make it more than five minutes without interruption for a bonus hug or a sweet little request for more mama time.
When you’re kneeling down tying a shoe, and suddenly somebody is jumping on your back.
When you can’t sit down without your lap being full of children.
Early one morning last week I woke up sweating; I was sandwiched by a girl on each side, one on top of me, and the dog was on my feet.
This morning, the same thing happened, except the dog was under the bed in his regular spot.
Small respite.
They know their dad leaves for work at dark early o’clock, so they know there are many hours they can sneak into our bed and soak in the cuddles; I rarely wake up alone.
And sometimes I get a little more than grumpy about all of this.
I get it. I see you, mom who needs their bubble back. The one who just needs a little space to herself.
You feel guilty for getting upset. You feel selfish for just needing a bit of space away from them. You fear they will translate your boundaries as rejection and it will wreck them forever. You worry that you’re doing it all wrong.
Here’s the truth, mama: you are doing it all right.
The reason they constantly want to be so close to you is that you are momming them incredibly well.
You are their compass.
Their source of security.
Their point of truth.
An enveloping zone of truth.
An emotional embrace of unconditional acceptance.
They want to be close to you because you are their safety.
They have a secure attachment to you, a style of attachment that should be every parent’s goal.
With secure attachment, kids feel safe to make mistakes and explore their world and put names to emotions and experiences.
With secure attachment they learn who they are.
They learn your family’s values.
They learn emotional intelligence.
They learn academically.
They learn they can succeed.
They learn to talk about things rather than bottle.
They learn to do relationships well.
Their attachment to you, that is at times suffocating, is the most important thing you can give them.
Their inability to leave you alone is one of the best indicators that they will be adults fulfilled by their goals and relationships in the future.
Their attachment to you all but ensures the well-being of your grandchildren.
Secure attachment is a facet of the best legacy you can possibly leave your family.
It is hard not to get frustrated when you can’t even respond to that five-day-old email without interruption.
But mama, you are doing good work.
You are doing the best work.
Your kids are securely attached, which to them developmentally, is almost more important than food.
One day soon, they will be teenagers. It will be a battle against their peers to maintain that contented security they feel with you.
Put in the patience now. Play the long game.
Even if you do get a little done with your bubble being invaded now, it’s all the more likely they won’t put up impenetrable walls of steel between you later.
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