(Image by Noah Biddlecombe)
It is a well-known fact that millennials have left churches across North America in droves over the past decade. Barna Group and Pew Forum in the United States and the Evangelical Fellowship of Canada records similar numbers: about 2 out of 3 young adults who spent some time in church during their formative years end up leaving.
Research has been done and leaders such as Carey Nieuwhof, Frank Powell and Rachel Held Evans have reflected on this millennial gap. Their answers are all the same.
Millennials don’t want to be sold self-help, a perfect happiness, a mute Jesus, a rock concert, or sunshine, puppy-dogs and rainbows. Smoke machines and hipster programming are out. Just because they are the tech generation whose brains have been structured by flashing screens doesn’t meant that church services need to be flashy. It doesn’t mean the gospel, Jesus’ values, or even the sanctuary’s décor needs to be molded into something easy to swallow to try to get them in your door.
Millennials do want a place that values relationship and community. They want the ability to ask hard questions, especially because Jesus often doesn’t make sense. They desire to be with a people with honest and vulnerable integrity, a people who value and act toward social justice. They want a place where people are authentic and their faith transforms. They want a place where they are taught by the older generation who walks alongside them how to live out their faith. Millennials want wisdom. Millennials want something of value. Millennials want something that transcends their culture because they are finding it empty. Millennials want what Jesus gives.
Millennials have a culture of easily-consumable candy and they are desperately craving meat and vegetables that sustain. If your church community knows Jesus, regardless of sermon length, regardless of congregational age, regardless of music style, regardless of robes or tattoos, regardless of time of day, regardless of programming, millennials will want to be there.
The thing is, all the things that millennials want are things that Jesus himself stood for. Some churches have already figured this out. Some churches have gotten it right the whole time.
The problem with Christian churches in North America is not that millennials are leaving. Millennials have only highlighted the problem. Well done, courageous millennials, for being the generation that won’t settle for a weak Christianity.
The problem actually is that we in North America have largely settled for such a watered-down, non-transformative version of Jesus. The problem is that church is largely based on tradition and driven by what people want, rather than what Jesus values. The problem is that church communities are sometimes focusing on taking a stand against culture, rather than standing for Jesus.
To be a church that millennials want to be at, you have to know Jesus enough to strive to live like him. In all situations.
Jesus should impact how conflict is managed. How relationships are kept. How money is handled. How the poor and widowed are addressed. How you speak to your children. How business is conducted. How vocation is viewed. How you treat the cashier at the grocery store. How tough decisions are made. How the finite time in your day is spent. How reconciliation is pursued. How you respond to those who hold different viewpoints.
Millennials don’t want anything that you haven’t got for yourself, no matter how hard you try to sell it. Millennials want to change the world, so if your religion isn’t changing even yourself, they walk out the door.
If church is something you only do Sunday, millennials won’t be there. If Jesus is only a distant deity mentioned one day a week, they won’t want to hear more about him. No matter how ‘tailored’ to their interests you make your programs.
And no, Jesus isn’t opposed to science, and he doesn’t require you to stash away your intellect and critical thinking. He created intellect. Read more about science and religion here.
Millennials want a place where they can question and compare Jesus’ values with their culture, and chew through it until they’ve found truth. They might make some mistakes, but so do you. So did Jesus’ disciples in the bible.
The beauty of the gospel is that it welcomes second and one hundred chances. The beauty of the bible is that it encourages conversation. The beauty of Jesus is that he does not replace culture, but stands as a pillar of truth within it. The gospel, bible and Jesus require community to be followed. Community requires vulnerability. And vulnerability requires courage.
Be a church of courage. Be a church of vulnerability. Be a church of conversation. Be a church of many chances. Be a church who welcomes. In doing so, you will be a pillar in your community, a pillar that millennials will be proud to have stand, a pillar they can lean on in the midst of their culture.
The millennial problem is often spoken in the context of doom with the implication that church is dead. But for me, the millennials’ absence in Christian churches is a message of hope. Most of rehabilitation is accepting there is a problem.
There is a problem. We have accepted it. And now we can move forward.
The responsibility lies on the congregants, just as much it lies on the leadership. Read the gospels. Know Jesus. Be willing to see where you’ve been wrong. Invite others into your journey. Talk about it as you go. Don’t try to be perfect. Aim to share your weakness.
Then the millennials will return. And they will bring their kids.
Read Part 2 – Millennials and Defining Church Success – here
Read Part 3 – Millennials Culture and Church Relevance – here
Read Part 4 – Millennials Relationships and Church Programs – here
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I’ve been a youth pastor for 37 years. Thankfully–and with pride–I can say I never did the “smoke machines and hipster programming. I knew in my soul that this was teaching a wrong version of the faith. Which sadly, I have been right. At least according to the plethora of writers out there who share negatively about their youth group experiences. This saddens me so.
I find this all to be true. “They want the ability to ask hard questions, especially because Jesus often doesn’t make sense. They desire to be with a people with honest and vulnerable integrity, a people who value and act toward social justice. They want a place where people are authentic and their faith transforms. They want a place where they are taught by the older generation who walks alongside them how to live out their faith. Millennials want wisdom. Millennials want something of value. Millennials want something that transcends their culture because they are finding it empty. Millennials want what Jesus gives.”
But do you know what that looks like? It is messy. Who here in church leadership is allowed to be messy? Or is allowed to program towards brokeness and vulnerability? Who here in church leadership spends more of their time helping put together the slick program? Who here in church leadership welcomes the intergenerational gift that church is?
Thank you for your thoughtful comment!
I myself experienced a transformative youth group, and am very thankful for it.
I just had a conversation the other day with a good friend who is a pastor. He was saying we know the A (where we are) and we know the B (where we want to get to). But we need to wrestle with the arrow, what it actually looks like to do church well.
It might be messy, in that we accept a church culture of not being perfect, but are still required to worship orderly.
With millennials, I suspect we have to take their local cultures into account, not be concerned about numbers, and be more focused on the church being a vessel through which Jesus moves rather than the structure that rigidly attempts to have all the answers.
I will put more thought into it and perhaps a blog series will have to be written to address the arrow. 🙂
Please do a series on these thoughts.
I’d love to hear other people’s responses to this quote of yours: “The beauty of Jesus is that he does not replace culture, but stands as a pillar of truth within it.”
This sings in my soul but who’s truth? We are living in a post-truth culture which puts ones preferences and opinions over truth. No one sees Jesus as a pillar of truth. Unless the Holy Spirit awakens their souls to this truth.
Please continue the conversation.
First time I stumble on this website thru our grand children. https://erikarachelleanderson.com/2019/08/13/what-millennials-want-from-church/?fb
Thanks for reading!! I’m glad you found it!